Reflection #8: The "Friend"

In the hall yesterday, after school, I was invited into a conversation among a few teachers talking about their classrooms. The topic of discussion is one I find myself considering on a nearly daily basis: how students' behaviors affect other students in the classroom for the good or bad. In particular, this conversation was dealing with students who butt heads and clash which can have a negative impact on learning and creating a positive environment.

What was said next by the teacher who initiated the conversation stuck in my mind. The conversation took a twist and he said, "I think that he likes me. I mean, I want him to like me and I think that he does, and that he respects me." For some reason this steered my mind to the talk of the teacher versus the "friend". I was reminded of this idea yet again in my 8th hour. My senior students in 8th hour recently had it click that I, too, am graduating in May. Many have invited me to their graduation (which I do plan to attend!) but the new running joke for a few of them is that I should also join them at their after party since I am also a senior. It is a positive feeling to know that your students are comfortable enough to joke with you and to have fun; but at the same time, there is always a line that should never be crossed. My students know that I won't be attending, and they are only joking, but it does beg the question of where exactly is that line drawn? How friendly should a teacher allow him/herself to be before it is too far?

For the majority of situations, it is common sense. But after a bit of browsing of some blogs and online articles, I stumbled over one- a relatively short reflection- that made a statement that opened my mind to another side of this issue I just wasn't thinking of. "It's hard to be firm with children" the article begins one of its statements. Is being firm the same aspect of being a friend versus a teacher? As a pre-service teacher I have often heard that you should start off stricter because it's always easier to loosen up in comparison to starting lax and having to try and 'tighten the reins'. However, I don't think I can agree to the aspect that a teacher has to be firm or they are not a teacher-- at least, not in the sense of being firm in everything one does. One of the big reasons I say that is because I find that it simply depends on the class and students- much like the teacher at the beginning of this post. For some classes I have to respond far stricter than I do others; but that doesn't necessarily mean that I am more of a friend to one class than to others. It's a fine line, and it sometimes can be a hard one to navigate. I want students to feel comfortable talking to me and expressing themselves (appropriately, mind you). I don't think that's a bad thing. However, there are still professional as well as moral boundaries. It's simply an aspect and one of many things to keep in mind.